笑话10 : 性恪 Character

从医学角度看:
    幼稚 = 憋不住尿,   憋不住话。
不成熟 = 憋得住尿，憋不住话。
    成熟 = 憋得住尿，憋得住话。
    衰老 = 憋得住话，憋不住尿。

From a medical perspective:
      Childish = Can not hold urine, can not hold speak.
Not Mature = Can hold urine, can not hold speak.
       Mature = Can hold urine, can hold speak.
         Aging = Can hold speak, can not hold urine.

alannyou 说：
每个人都会经过以上四个人生阶段，只是穿老人尿片时，可别往泳池里跳啊！
Everyone will pass through the above four life phases, but, remember not to jump into the swimming pool when wearing the old man diapers!

漫画13 : 两种人生 Two Type of Life

alannyou 说：
你选择哪一种人生？
Which type of life you prefer ?

漫画12 : 老花眼 Presbyopia

老花眼是一种自然的老化現象，由于年龄增加而导视力下降, 會感到難以聚焦閱讀太近的事物，要拿遠一點才可看清。
無論有沒有近視或遠視等, 一般人在40歲開始都會面對老花眼。
老花眼是可以逆转或延迟发生。
方法是利用以下的图表，练习把双眼向内看(聚合)，然后再向外看(分岔)返回正常位置。

双眼聚合和分岔练习:
- 将图表放置约16英寸外。
- 把双眼向内（聚合）看，这时，图表上的两个黑点会显出为三到四个黑点。
- 反复练习把双眼向内（聚合）看和向外看（分岔），直到看到三个黑点。
- 看中间的黑点, 学会保持三个黑点。
持续不断的练习, 图表的字体会变得更清晰，你的日常的近视力会有所改善。

Presbyopia, commonly known as ‘Lao Hua Yan’(老花眼).
Presbyopia is an age-related condition that causes blurred near vision.
When presbyopia begins, people will hold reading materials at arm's length to help their eyes focus.
It typically starts at around age 40 and affects everyone, even those who've never had vision problems before.
Presbyopia can be reversed or delayed by learning to crossing your eyes (converging) and uncrossing your  eyes (diverging) while using the presbyopia reduction chart.

Converging and Diverging Exercise:
- with the chart held about 16 inches away.
- the two black dots near the top of the page should double and you'll see three or four dots when
converging your eyes. 
- try converging and diverging until you see three dots.
- learn to keep three dots while looking at the center one.

With continued practice it will get even clearer and you should notice improvement in your every-day near vision.

alannyou 说：
近视眼和老花眼在生活中所带来的不便，跟残废没有多大分别啊!！
The inconvenience in daily life causes by myopia and presbyopia is the same as cripple !!

漫画11 : 共枕眠 Sleep On Same Pillow

佛教相信因果, 相信前世,今生.
相信今世人死后会投胎为下一世人，循环不熄。
今世人的所做所为，会决定下一世人的命运。
佛教有此一说：
“百年修得同船渡，千年修得共枕眠。”
一百年的缘份，才有缘份在今世坐同一座船，
而今世能做夫妻，则需要一千年的缘份。
做夫妻不容易，所以要珍重缘份，好好关爱你的爱人。

Buddhism believe in karma or preordained fate. Believe in past and present life.
Believe that people die will reincarnated to next life. And this keep on repeating.
Whatever you do in present life will determine your next life.
Buddhism has this say:
"It takes your passed hundred years of efforts to lead you and her to be able to ride in the same
boat, and a thousand years efforts to lead you and her to be able to sleep on the same pillow."
It actually said, being husband and wife is not easy. It take you thousand years of efforts in
order to be husband and wife again in your next life.
So treasure the fate and take good care or your love one.

百年修得同船渡
Hundred years of fate lead to be in the same boat.

千年修得共枕眠
Thousand years of fate lead to be sleeping on the same pillow.

alannyou 说：
同睡一个枕头的好处是可以睡个好觉，闹钟也叫不醒。。。哈哈。
The advantage of sleeping on the same pillow is that the alarm clock can never wake you up...haha.

笑话09 : 原来如此 That's Why

吉米三岁开始画画，五岁时已经画得很好了。
他画了很多美丽而有趣的画，人们出高价购买。他们说，
“这个孩子长大一点肯定会出名，我们可以靠这些画大赚一笔。”
吉米的画与众不同。因为他从来不在整张纸上作画。
他只画一半的纸，而另一半他总空着。
“构思多么巧妙啊!”大家都说，“从来没有人这么做过。”
有一天，一个人买了吉米的画，然后问他：
“请告诉我，吉米，你为什么总是在纸的下半部分画画，而不是在纸的上半部分？”
吉米说，“因为我个头小，够不着上面。”

Jimmy started painting when he was three years old, and when he was five, he was already very good at it.
He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and people paid a lot of money for them. They said, 
"This boy's going to be famous when he's little older, and 
then we're going to sell these pictures for a lot more money."
Jimmy's pictures were different from other people's because he never painted on all of the paper.
He painted on half of it, and the other half was always empty. 
"That's very clever," everyone said, "Nobody else does that!" 
One day somebody bought one of Jimmy's pictures and then said to him, 
"Please tell me this, Jimmy. Why do you paint on the bottom half of your pictures, but not on the top half?" 
"Because I'm small," Jimmy said, "and my burshes don't reach very high."


alannyou说:
小孩和犀牛都是天真无邪的。看到什么就画什么，哪儿能画就画哪。
不像成年人，思想复杂，你欺我诈，生活好累。。。
Children and rhinos are innocent, draw as their wishes.
Don't like adults, thought complicated,  intrigue against each other, life very tired...

笑话08 : 厕所标语 Toilet Signs Post

男人都知道，男人小便有时并不那么干脆利落，有时尿急射偏，有时候小便分叉，有时候淋漓不尽，为了让男人能把一泡尿全撒进小便池，不要滴落到地板上，一般的小便池上会贴一些标语加以提醒.
然而，大多数的标语都起不了作用。
但是，用了以下这个标语后，厕所地上比以前干净许多了：

“尿不到池里说明你短，尿到池外说明你软。”

All men do know, man is sometimes not so neat in urinating, sometimes urgency and shot wide,
sometimes urinate got split ends and sometimes dripping.
In order to let a man can urine into the urinal and not drop on the floor,
some toilet will have signs post on wall above the urinal to remind men to be more careful.
However, most of the signs post does not have effect.
But, after using the below signs post, the toilet floor seem to be must more cleanest than before:

“If you can't shot into the urine pool, means your is short,
  If you shot outside the urine pool, means your is soft.”

alannyou 说：
男人那玩意儿，男人自己都控制不了。。。你说呢？。。。哈哈。
Men himself can't even control that little thing。。。what do you think ?。。。。haha.

漫画10 : 人生之轮 The Wheels of Life

未雨绸缪, 好好保养，晚年之轮，就可免了。
Prepare for a rainy day, maintain well, wheels for the old age can be avoid.


Scaring。。。is time to go for 130,000 mileage maintenance。。。haha。
怕怕。。。是时候去 130,000 英里维修了。。。哈哈。

alannyou 说：
车和人一样，需要保养，才能一帆风顺。 The car and a person, both need maintenance. So as to have a smooth journey either on the road or life.

漫画09 : 蘑菇的好处 Benefit of Mushroom

蘑菇是低卡路里,低脂肪、胆固醇和钠含量也非常低.
然而蘑菇提供重要的营养物质,其中包括硒、钾、核黄素、烟酸、维生素D和更多。
Mushrooms are low in calories, fat-free, cholesterol-free and very low in sodium, yet they
provide important nutrients, including selenium, potassium, riboflavin, niacin, vitamin D and more. 

蘑菇的好处：
Benefit of Mushroom:

1. 低卡路里, 适宜减肥：
    蘑菇中有大量无机质、维生素、蛋白质等丰富的营养成分，但热量很低，常吃也不会发胖.
    Low calorie, suitable for weight loss:
    Mushroom contain a lot of inorganic, vitamin and protein, but, is low-energy-density foods,
    will not get fat even if often eat.

2. 抗氧化:
    蘑菇提供氨基酸, 一种天然的抗氧化剂,可以帮助保护身体的细胞. 免受伤害,避免慢性疾病。
    帮助加强免疫系统.
    Antioxidant:
    Mushroom provide ergothioneine, a natural antioxidant, can help protect the cells of the body from damage that might lead to chronic diseases. It also help strengthen the immune system.

3. 维生素D丰富:
    其他的新鲜蔬菜和水果都不含维生素D，蘑菇是个例外。并且，其中的维生素D含量非常丰
    富，有利于骨骼健康。
    Rich in Vitamin D:
    Other fresh vegetable and fruits contain no vitamin D, mushroom is an exception.
    It is high in vitamin D that is helful for bone.

4. 美味:
    蘑菇具有除了酸甜苦辣咸之外的第六种味道——鲜味。当它们与别的食物一起混合烹饪
    时，风味极佳，是很好的“美味补给”。
    菜谱例子：韭菜炒蘑菇。
    Delicious:
    Mushroom have the fresh taste, especially when cooking with other food, it is a good delicious supply. 
    Menu example: cooking mushrooms with leeks.

   a. 将韭菜，蘑菇洗净。
      Clean and wash leeks and mushrooms。

   b. 将韭菜切段。
      Cut leeks into section。

   c. 蘑菇切片。
       Slices mushrooms into pieces。

   d. 炒软后，将韭菜倒入锅中煸炒至软，撒盐搅拌均匀即可。

       Fry mushrooms till it turn soft, pour leeks into and fry until soft。
       Add salt and stir well。

    

   

alannyou 说：
韭菜能提高男性的性能力, 有壮阳的功效，别犹豫了。。。
Leek is especially effective in improving male sexual capacity, hesitate no more。。。

漫画08 : 人生公交车 Life Bus

人的一生，就像乘坐一辆公交车。
The life of people is like taking a bus trip.

我们知道它有起点和终点，却无法预知沿途的经历。
We know that it has a starting and destination, but, can not predict what will happen during the journey.

有的人行程长，有的人行程短。
Some people have longer journeys, some people have shorter trip.

有的人很从容，可以欣赏窗外的景色。
Some are very calmly, can enjoy the scenery outside the window.

有的人很窘迫，总处于推搡和拥挤之中。
Some people are embarrassed, situation in pushing and crowded circumstances.

然而与悬挂在车门上、随时可能掉下去的人相比，似乎又感欣慰。
However, it is better as compared to those who hanging on the car door that may fall at any time.

获得舒适与优雅，座位是必不可少的机会，因此总被人们争抢。
Opportunity of getting a graceful and comfortable seat is essential, therefore, everybody will fight for a seat.

有的人很幸运，一上车就能落座。
Some people are lucky, can get a seat when aboard.

有的人很倒霉，即使全车的人都坐下了，他还站着。
Some are very unluck, he still stood while everyone else already got a seat.

有时别处的座位不断空出来，唯独身边这个毫无动静。
Sometimes other seats become vacant, but, the seat infront still occupied.

而当你下定决心走向别处，刚才那个座位的人却正好离开。
And when you set your mind to another seat, the previous seat become vacant.

为了坐上或保住座位，有的人漠视良心，甚至伤害他人。
In order to obtain and keep a seat, some people disregard their conscience, even hurt others.

有的人却因为这样那样的原因，不得不将到手的座位让给他人。
Some people, for some reasons, had to give up the seat to others.

有的人用了种种的方式，历了长长的等待，终于可以坐下。
Some people struggle after a long waiting and finally get a seat.

但这时他已经到站了。
But then he had arrived.

下车的一刻，他回顾车厢，也许会为区区一个座位而感慨，自以为大彻大悟。
After alighting, turn and look at the bus, may felt regret and greatly discerning and apprehending.

其实即使重新来过，他依然会去争抢，因为有时如果不坐下，连站的位置都没有。
Even again, he will continue to fight for a seat, or else, not even a place to stand.

除非你永远不上车，而这并不由自己决定。
Unless you never get on the bus, but, this does not determine by themselves.

到站的人下了，车上的人还在。
People alight when reached destination, others in the bus.

依然熙熙攘攘，依然上上下下。
Still bustling, alighting and aboarding.

alannyou 说:
人无法预测未来，尽情享受生命中的每一天。
People can not predict the future, enjoy life each day.

漫画07 : 乳房 Breast

乳房为什么会松弛?
随着年龄增大, 所有女性的胸部都将会松弛或下垂，这是一个自然的、不可避免的过程.
Why breast prolapse ?
Increasing with age, all women's breast eventually will relax or droop.
This is a natural and inevitable process.

乳房松弛的原因:
Causes Of The Breast Prolapse:

1. 产后哺乳：
    一般在哺乳停止后，因为激素水平的减低，乳腺泡管、腺体和脂肪组织都会发生萎缩，而
    皮肤及支撑组织却相应较多造成乳房松弛。
    Postpartum Lactation:
    After lactation stop, because of the hormone levels going down,
    mammary gland, glands and adipose organization will shrink.
    And the skin and supporting organization will then caused breast flabby.

2. 过度节食减肥：
    就是因为有的女性过度减肥造成乳房下垂，造成乳房内脂肪组织与皮肤松弛所致，不当的
    减肥方法如不吃油、不吃肉等，也许能让你的腰细下来但也可能让你的胸部“缩水”。
    Excessive On Diet:
    It is because some women excessive weight loss causing skin and adipose tissue inside the
    breast flabby.
    Incorrectly method of reducing wieght, will cause breast shrink.

3. 年龄增大的老年人：
   人变老后身体的各种机能都有所减退，内分泌机能下降，皮肤、支持组织、脂肪和腺体, 都
   明显退化、萎缩，故乳房表现为空囊状下垂。
   Old People:
   People grow old various function will decline,
   endocrine function drop, the skin, fat and glands will be significiant degradation and
   atrophy, causing breast prolapse.

4. 运动时没有穿运动型内衣:
　在进行跑步、弹跳等运动时，胸部会不由自主地大幅度摆动，使乳房内的弹性纤维组织受
    到永久性伤害。
    During Exercise Did Not Wear Underwear:
    In the campaign such as running, bouncing, chest will swing, causing the fibre inside breast
    suffer permanent damage.


预防乳房松弛的方法:
Methods to prevent breast prolapse:

1. 健胸操:
　这是最有效、最经济的方法。产后若及时进行胸部肌肉锻炼，能使乳房看上去坚挺、结
    实、丰满。
    Bosom Of Health:
    This is the most effective, most economic method.
    Having chest muscles exercise after postpartum will make breast look strong and rich.

2. 戴合适的胸罩:
    从哺乳期开始，就要坚持戴胸罩。如果不戴胸罩，重量增加后的乳房会明显下垂。穿胸罩
    时，要选择大小合适、有钢托的款式。
    Wear Proper Bra:
    Adhere to wear bra during lactation.
    If you don't wear bra, breast will be prolapsing when weight increasing.
    When wearing bra, choose the right size with steel support style.

3. 喂奶姿势正确:
　哺乳时，应两个乳房交替喂奶，每次时间不超过20分钟。
    Breastfeeding With Correct Posture:
    Should be two breast feeding alternatively, and each time no more than 20 minutes

4. 经常按摩:
　将一只手的食指、中指、无名指并拢，放在对侧乳房上，以乳头为中心，顺时针由乳房外
    缘向内侧划圈。两侧乳房各做10次，可以促进局部的血液循环，增加乳房的营养供给，并 
    有利于雌激素分泌。
    Often Massage:
    With index, middle and ring finger close to each other, place at opposite breast, with nipple at center, move fingers clockwise from outer breast toward inner. 10 times for each breast.
    This can promote local blood circulation, increase nutrition supply of the breast, and to facilitate the estrogen secretion.

5. 沐浴乳房:
　在沐浴时，使用花洒冷热交替喷洒乳房，有助于提高胸部皮肤张力，促进乳房血液循环。
    Bath Breast:
    Using hot and cold water spraying breast alternatively, will help to improve the chest skin tension and promote breast blood circulation.

6. 推荐食物:
    多吃富含维生素E和B的食物，
    如瘦肉、蛋、奶、豆类、胡萝卜、莲藕、花生、麦芽、葡萄、芝麻等。
    Recommend food:
    Eat more rich in vitamin E and B food, such as,
    lean meat, eggs, milk, beans, carrots, lotus, peanut, malt, grapes, sesame seeds.

alannyou 说:
拥有一个坚挺，又漂亮的乳房，迷倒众生，万事亨通。
Having a strong, beautiful breasts, fan pour beings, and prospered.